This is an interesting blog post by Winnie Lim that I think about quite a bit. I relate to the post.
"I write, in order to exist.
Writing is my primary mode of communication. It is the only way I can attempt to understand myself, much less trying to make others understand me. The words which flow out of my hands and onto the screen, make some sense of the abstract chaos in my mind. They circumvent the disconnect I seem to have between my brain and my vocal cords.
It allows me the space to sculpt the form of my thoughts and my ideas, for the order of words matter in the chosen structure of my sentences. If you take the time to understand me, you deserve to have the best representation of my thoughts, and there can be no better way except through my writing." - Winnie Lim
I also write in order to exist. I mostly write, most of what I do everyday is writing. I write to talk to my friends, i write in my journals, i do so much writing. You can see me and who I am through my writing. Their are few other ways to "see me" considering I've been inside for so long and I dont do voice chat despite wanting to. I have to write in order to exist and its how i "chose" (chose is loose here) to exist.
I write about my life on here. If you read my blog you know alot about me. I exist the most transparently here, here and my private journal and where i am the most me. I dont make posts often on other sites so its not like im not genuine. Its just the videos I make and the streams I are not the time to just dump about my life. Its another hobby of mine thats my core, in a sense. Writing and video making are what I always return to and what always drives me. I write fiction and I write nonfiction. Most of my nonfiction is my journals and stuff but I sometimes write essays and stuff. I write fanfics on ao3 that are based in truth, that are based off of my reality but with fiction painted in. Its rare i write my orignal stories nowadays to be honest. I do create orignal stories via videos, mainly WOS which is a story told in minecraft that I am desperately trying to get off the ground and the improv story I made using a broken minecraft map once that I still need to upload on my youtube.
My life is creating. I create in order to exist and its what drives me. Its my core.
...I've been through tons of fucked up shit. I dont wanna change the world via this silly little site honestly, I'd rather change the world via something else I create, but if I write about fucked up shit and my life currently aswell as my past then maybe I can lead someone in the future through a rough period. I consider myself the concept of determination as a person not out of ego but because of all shit i've been through. Maybe if i had a guide along time ago my life would've been better but. I wanna create and I wanna create so much cool shit and maybe that'll give people hope and affect and change peoples lives like my life has been changed via various medias that I have read or watched or whatever.
Maybe I've changed someones life already by my fanfics on ao3 somehow. After all every single little event affects and creates every other even that exists, at least in my opinon. So maybe I am already causing change in someones life. Im writing this at like 3 am.
"In a world where we spend the precious currency of words on whether iPhones are bad for our kids and debating whether other people are worth their value in society, I am strengthened and moved by the stories of…
…the woman who wrote about her childhood sexual abuse and yet had risen above her pain to be a thriving entrepreneur,
…the 15 year old girl who copes with chronic depression and yet hangs on by sharing her beautiful poetry,
…the man who survived the holocaust and found greater meaning in his life,
…the man who lost his entire family to war, yet he embodied the spirit of the human existence by living vivaciously for the rest of his life" - Winnie Lim
"I am able to exist, because these people exist. Through their vulnerable but courageous writing, I find out there are people out there who overcome their very trying circumstances with exceptional strength. These stories make me rethink my perception of humanity, they challenge my own purpose in this world and they make me aspire to carry a heavier weight for the ones who are unable to do so.
I carry a debt, out of my own volition, towards the ones who have written their hearts out. I understand I am consistently being sustained by their generosity to share their truth. I am choosing to pay it forward by trying to write my heart out, in hope that more people out there would one day take the step not only to write their stories, but have the courage to define the storyline of their lives as well." - Winnie Lim
Honestly for some reason this article really really impacted me when i first read it and it still does. I could quote the entire article here because Winnie is a great writer who writes great things, I have tons of quotes saved on my computer that I got from her various posts. Shes a great writer. This article is kinda dear to me.
"Once written, our stories no longer become a source of persistent haunting from the recesses of our memories, they transform into wells of strength. What else could we not survive?" - Winnie Lim
So this was notes taken on 6/13/2022 at 3 AM with a bit of rambling of my thoughts. I have trouble writing and phrasing things sometimes because of my "words floating" thing aswell as the fact its 3 am so these notes might only make sense to me. I am basically praising her writing here aswell as me rambling about my own life and my writing stuff. I also just learned how Div works so thats fun lets hope that works.
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